Here is a photo of one of the giant old fallen trees at the Forest Park Nature Playscape
3/15/22
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On Halloween last year, my three-year-old fell into a fire. She sat on the edge of a broken chair and it tipped her out like a teapot pouring water.
Her whole face went into the fire. Her hair was wisping into it. Her left hand reached out and pushed against the actual fire to propel her back out.
I screamed.
I kept screaming.
I picked her up and ran.
She began to cry.
I ran into the bathroom and set her down. Tears streaming down my face. I could hardly see through them to witness the damage.
Once I brushed them away, I witnessed something else.
She was untouched. Not even a single first degree burn. It was as if she hadn’t fallen in at all.
My mind immediately jumped to, “wow, way to over-react over that situation. You're always over-reacting. Just like a woman...”
My neural pathways were about to guide me habitually down that route, when I decided to fight against it. “No,” I said to me, “that was not an over-reaction, your daughter just fell into a fire. She should have been very hurt.”
But she wasn’t. Now the action that needed to be taken was reflection and thanksgiving. Then spreading the great news. The news that even though I had known it my whole life, it always comes back as news every day. God has angels watching over my daughter. And even when she falls into dangerous situations, He can change fire.
Is the truth that fire is hot and it will kill you? No. The truth is fire is hot sometimes, and it can kill you sometimes, but God made fire and He can unmake it too.
This was one of the giant steps in the ladder leading me out of my 9 years of PTSD. I think I’m out now. Thanks to God.
*honorable mentions to pastors, counselors, doctors, research scientists, music, adderall, adhd diagnoses, Psalm 91 and peacemakers.
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Cognitive distortion credit:
1) Here is a blend of labeling and overgeneralization.
“wow, way to over-react over that situation. You're always over-reacting. Just like a woman...”
I labeled myself a person who over-reacts to everything. And I also followed my society's norms and labeled women as people who over-react to everything. Then I overgeneralized that all of my reactions are over-reactions.
2) Catastrophizing
"If my child falls in a fire, she will die or at least get severe burns that will damage her face and ruin her life."
That one wasn't written in the post, but we allll know it. Right? At least we "know" it... We "know" that our child will die if they run into the street. We "know" that our children will get kidnapped if we don't watch them in the backyard. We "know" that they will die if we don't strap them into their carseat exactly the right way.
We all do it. It might be the reason God didn't want us to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. We can't handle that knowledge. We aren't omniscient like He is. He can see everything and He knows how it all works together. And He loves us and He is working for our good. So it's time to stop being afraid. God can stop cars and the hottest heat of fire. And no one is going to kidnap our children. God doesn't even have to stop "mean" people from kidnapping our children. Those people hardly even exist.
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Sidenote:
*update on the adderall front, I'm not taking it anymore. I stopped in January. I stopped because it had helped me and I didn't need it anymore.
Medicine can be helpful for short periods of time. Choosing to go on it for a time is not the end of life as you know it. It could actually be the beginning of life as you've always wished to.