11/20/22

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Hey.

I have a message for people with disabilities.

And I’m talking to all of you, not just the ones with visible disabilities. I promise I believe in your pain, even if I can’t see it.

I just want to say that I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for any of the times that I said or thought anything that lacked empathy with regards to your situation. There is no way that I could ever fully understand what your life experience is like and I have no right to think or say anything about you except thoughts and words of love and dignity and respect and support.

I don’t know if I’m allowed to do this, but can I also apologize for anyone else who has said or thought anything that lacked empathy towards you? I don’t know if it counts. But I’m feeling a lot of grief and sadness right now for people who are not able to do the things that most people can. To the point where they basically get tossed to the side of the road like they don’t matter... by everyone. Even people who say they live their lives committed to “loving others”... people like me.

I’ve been feeling really called lately to listen and respond more to people with disabilities. I think I would like to find ways to slow down and help them more, instead of rushing through life just helping myself. I hope I have the self-control. As a person addicted to productivity, goals like this are often difficult for me. But I’m feeling so much rage and sadness right now for people with disabilities, I can either go outside and break all the glass in my house on the sidewalk that runs through our backyard, or I can direct that energy towards something more helpful. “I don’t know what [yet], but I’m on the watch for it.” (- Jo March)

Anyway, I’m really really sorry for any physical pain that you go through on a regular basis. I’m sorry for how my society and I just sweep you under the rug, as if you don’t matter or we don’t believe in what you’re going through. And I’m sorry for any times I (or anyone) have said anything that caused you to plummet into depression or anxiety or overwhelm or any type of emotional pain. I know what it’s like to go through that, just from the smallest of comments. It doesn't mean that you are "different" or "messed up" or "too sensitive" or "dramatic" ...it means you are normal... just go read a hymn... or a Psalm. "Normal people" (even the greatest king to have ever lived) experience depression and anxiety and overwhelm and all kinds of emotional pain. So if anyone tells you that it's abnormal to go through those things - you can send them to me... and I will probably run away - to be honest... ha ha... so maybe don't send them to me. Actually just remember that you are not the only one who goes through these things. And send yourself to me if you don't believe it - and I'll probably cry right to your face, so you'll HAVE to believe it. Ha ha.

Anyway, those of you who accept this apology, please don’t feel the need to respond to me, unless you really want to : ) I see you. And I love you. Here is a life-long coupon to come to me for a hug any time you want. And I will say the words “you are valuable, you are amazing, you can do incredible things, you are an inspiration” into your ears over and over and over and over and over and over and over for as long as you need to hear them. This coupon does not expire. And it can be redeemed as many times as you want, because you are worthy of that, but also I hope that’s the amount of times you’ll forgive ignorant people like me, who think and say hurtful things on a constant basis without even batting an eye. You don't deserve the extra pain of that resentment (speaking also as a person very experienced in the extremely unnecessary pain of resentment). No one can truly understand what you're going through so please, for your own sake, "forgive [us]; for [we] know not what [we] do."

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I love you. Jesus loves you. And I love you. There are a lot of people who love and respect you for your strength in handling this difficulty that we don’t understand. You are valuable. You are amazing. You can do incredible things. And you are an inspiration to so many people. You might not know because we probably don't say it enough, or at all. It’s often a lot easier to say something ignorant and inconsiderate about people going through difficult things that we don’t understand than it is to say something deep and meaningful and true... and kind. So I’ve been trying really hard to do the latter more. So here I go:

You are valuable. You are amazing. You can do incredible things. And you are an inspiration to me.

I got to hear some nice bible verses today.

I’ll just leave this one here:

“Blessed Are Those Who Mourn, for They Will be Comforted” (Matthew 5:4)

*maranatha*

Here is a piece in my personal collection that encourages me to think about this issue on a gentle but steady basis :

Here is a book recommendation from me on the subject: